Deed is Done

Well, today was an incredibly dull sort of day. At least for a last day at the current place of employment. My boss had this big shindig at the Marriott in Dana Point to set up for and would be there all day long. He called me this morning requesting some supplies, which I dutifully ran down to the hotel. Then I sat around watching the exciting Apple presentations their PR guy was playing while Roark set up his gig. Did that till noon. Then I returned to the studio, and after a long a relaxing lunch break, I got to work. I sprayed 32 grey-fade backgrounds. COUNT THEM! THIRTY TWO!!! I think its a record for me in one day. Now my hand is totally cramped up. So I quit that, cleaned up my mess, found a box to put all my stuff in, cleared my desk-so to speak-and left. No send-off, no goodbyes, nobody cares. Oh well. I'm going back in the morning to get my checks and talk to Roark about references and stuff.

I guess I kinda thought that after a year of devoted work for them, even though the last few weeks have been pretty rocky, that they would have the courtesy to give me some sort of send off. Or SOMETHING. I mean, jeez. It just feels like, even though I know they care that I'm leaving, it doesn't feel like it. It feels like I mean nothing to them. It feels like crap.

I'm gonna take this next week off. No work, no interviews, no jobseeking, nothing. I'm going to sit on the beach for a week and do nothing. My parents get in tomorrow, and hopefully they will not make any noises against my decision. I really feel like it is necessary for me to be by myself for a few days thinking over what I'm going to do with myself. I have to think up a convincing argument for the Peace Corps so that they'll accept me. And maybe, just maybe, I'll do some art. MY art. My very own creations. Maybe.

As Coolsville Turns

After spending an absolutely wonderful and totally relaxing weekend in Washington D.C. with Catherine, I found myself ready for a new week at work. The last week at work. Thursday is D-Day. And my boss is treating me like honey. Un-F*****-believable. Things have returned to the way they were before we went to New York. Giving me all sorts of compliments, allowing me to do all sorts of cool errands and projects to work on. He keeps asking me what will I do without them? without the harrasment? the torture? I told him today that most likely I will end up at the blackboard of a classroom with spitwads stuck to the back of me....

They are totally making me feel bad. To tell you the truth, I am scared about the future, having to find a new job...having my parents 4 houses down from me the day after I finish my job, watching every move I make....But I know I have to leave. It was a great place to work. However good it was for a while, my boss lost his respect for my abilities, and myself. And its crashing down on him now. So he's being as nice to me as possible, and making me feel guilty. That in itself is a reason to hitch up my skirts and run as fast as I can.

*sigh*